Quadrilles – Isotopes (2015)

Some toy shops stick all the awesome shit in the window, which is pretty useful for us punters: I want a stunt kite, here’s a stunt kite, give me that stunt kite, bye. It’s a streamlined experience and on the surface everyone’s a winner, except actually the toy shop owner is smacking him- or herself in the chops with it. Who’s going to use your shop properly if they just see what they want in the window, grab it and run away? If they want a hardcore stunt kite what’s to say they wouldn’t dabble in a bit of Etch-a-Sketch or Trivial Pursuit™ if they spent any time looking around inside?

Now the cannier toy shops, they hide all the good stuff inside – their windows are full of stupid miniature toy kitchens and dolls full of sand. So if you want a stunt kite, you figure this must be the right place, you go in… Where are they? They’ve got Harry Potter action figures, fair play, but balls to that if there’s no stunt kite. The lesson: if you can’t see what you want in the window, what are you doing going in? It’s obviously a trap, and you fell for it.

In the windows of the best toy shops is a cheeky little sample of what might be inside: some of the top fodder, mixed up with pot-pourri. I saw a crap purple kite in the window, so I know this place sells kites, and from the clout of that boomerang they obviously stock heavy duty shit. I’ll have to go in and rummage around for it… OH SHIT IT’S HERE AT THE BACK! Oh look and here’s a load of other stuff that must also be awesome, I’ll fucking buy that too.

Thank you venerable toy shop for enriching my toy experience, you are the gateway to new and exciting toys!

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